Janet Tracy Keijser be'in silly.

A tribute to Sarah Pallin.

Mouse Over Picture for Full Effect!copyright©janet tracy keijser

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Janet was asked to write a Bio for the new Schism website up soon.

Here is her e-mail response.

Dear Derek,.............................................................Sunday June 14th. 2009

I started writing a standard bio, as I was looking at other websites for inspiration.
I came to this conclusion ........I don't know why, but I hate writing bios.

Is it because they're so full of self congratulatory B.S?
Thus, I came up with my own version.
But wanted your opinion, encase it was too offensive or otherwise, to you and your honorable efforts. Something along this line is what I'm thinking........

Janet Tracy Keijser is a native of Vernon, a very small town in rural Canada, just west of the Canadian Rockies.

Janet claims there were no Cineplex Odeon 5 complexes or live Theatres growing up in this cattle ranch and lumberjack community. So happily, Janet lived for her pets; Billy the goat, Whitie; the attack rooster, Ducky; the stray duck & multiple horses, a menagerie of dogs, cats, turtles, snakes some toads & many a tree frog.
In this idyllic beauty and splendor, Janet was the only neighbor kid wacked enough to hop the fence and ride any bull in the pen, until she got her own steed, at age 8. From then on out, Janet was the fastest cowgirl on the Rodeo circuit in all of the Okanagan Valley. Excelling in pole bending, barrel racing and bareback rescue competitions on her Palomino, Aprichee. Janet claims this and shoveling horse shit, to be her critical ‘Ivy League’ actor training.
You see, she says “The Rodeo circuit is all pompous, while prancing on your pony up to the starting gate. And not unlike the casting director waiting rooms”, of her now home, Los Angeles. “ They’re filled with gorgeous thoroughbreds, like Ms California, who sit and twirl their golden locks while staring you down. But when that door/gate opens, you better deliver strong and fearless, without hesitation, then get the hell out fast, without being asked to leave or being thrown out/off the studio lot. It’s cold, it’s ruthless, and it doesn’t matter where you came from or who paid for your boobs and your shiny white front teeth, as long as you look good for your audience and your leather saddle is polished nice.
Which, by the way, having been kicked in the head, stepped on, bitten and dragged upside down by horses, it’s all similar in experience to the casting office“. And, Janet slyly chuckles. “I still retain my original front teeth, home grown boobies and a kindred feeling for the smell of fine leather“.
Janet fondly reminisces, “you can‘t buy this kind of actor training from any of the Casting Director workshops running in all of glamorous Tinseltown. It’s a true and honest dues paying. This kind of method acting, it only comes of being the most fearless little girl in British Columbia, land of the elusive Ogopogo lake monster, Pamela Lee Anderson, Joey “shithead” Keithley and Alanis Nadine Morissette .

Janet writes Independent Film Quarterly on her experiences in the trenches of indie film making...............